My Mother, the Car-ol (Not about Farms)

No, this is not the happiest couple in the world: they're my parents on their wedding day in 1957. Despite the wedding being held in February, Andy loved to tell people they married on "Hitler's birthday." What a card.

Surviving my father—she left him a month before my third birthday—was just one of the things that made my mother realize her strengths. (Whoever says "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is full of it. Sometimes whatever doesn't kill you makes you depressed, scared, angry, imprisoned, and just damned tired.)

The prognosis is guardedly good, and I have few facts at hand. She has a hereditary condition called "spinal stenosis," which is a narrowing of the spinal canal. It crowds the nerves that run down the spine, and my little sister, Kristen, described the intrusion of bones through her spinal column ss "two sharp nails pointing at each other in a garden hose, growing closer together every day."

My mother has ceased complaining a long time ago, for the most part. I had no idea she could not even pick up a teaspoon to stir her coffee. Those abilities might return, but the doctor was glad enough that she didn't lose the use of her legs. I hate hearing that she is in chronic pain.

The second thing to know about spinal stenosis is that the #1 way to fight it is to exercise. Having joined the gym just about two months ago, on the occasion of the death by heart attack of dear Bob Furber, the cheesemonger at River Cafe and Cheese Shop here in Santa Cruz, I am absolutely addicted to working out. The transformation is mental and physical and spiritual. It has affected every single aspect of my brain space. Things that used to look like asteroids about to crash into my spaceship look like dust motes now. People who used to do horrendous things deliberately to upset me go into the pity basket. As dear-darling-hilarious Matt at MattBites calls them, "Haters!" (Zing!)

My mother didn't take care of herself. She "let herself go," as they put it in Georgia. I ached over this for years, especially when I let myself go in front of my daughter at pretty much the same age Mom did. But nobody's disappointed with anyone today: I'm glad my mother's getting healing attention from a brilliant doctor instead of being butchered by that asshole. I'm glad I'm working out, and that my sisters and I will see each other soon, hopefully in November. I get a pass to Krissy's gym, and she promises she has "the best walking neighborhood in the world."

That will be great, but I better not wear one of my GetShirty.Net t-shirts, huh, like this one at the right? 

Nah, we'll stick to cooking, hopefully find some farms that are still growing SOMETHING, and see if Logan and her kids get along. As for the two of us, we've never had a fight. Not a shout, not a dig, nothing.

We went through disco, and we went though the wild years with boys and men. And she, who when she found the gizzards inside a chicken, thought she was won something, has turned into an accomplished cook. With an awesome kitchen. Yay!

I have to find a laptop: my Powerbook died, and I can't travel unless I can work, too. That's the only obstacle that I can see. Logan's coming, too—it's time they met the Light of Zartha.

Thanks for the prayers—public and private. And now, I'm off to the gym before it closes.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: "Girls just wanna have fun."—Cyndi Lauper

Thanks for visiting.

Comments

[Jennifer Jeffrey]

How's your mum today? Hope she is on the road to recovery. This was a beautiful post about life journeys... the love you and your mother and sisters have for each other is precious.

Be well + happy!

[farmgirl]

Wonderfully written as always, Tana. Sending warm and healing thoughts to all of you. xx

P.S. LOVE that you are loving the gym and all that it has done for you. Thanks for the reminder of the amazing power of something so simple as exercise. : )

[Dr. Biggles]

Whoa, warm happy karma coming from up here!

xo Biggles

After my picture fades and darkness has
Turned to gray
Watching through windows - you're wondering
If I'm OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time -

- Ms. Lauper

ps - Ain't she just the best?