Not Clear on the Concept

I've seen spamming trackbacks and impersonal comments that leave me scratching my head. (What kind of fool thinks a trackback to his casino website will ever see the light of day?)

But a couple of days ago, I got a comment on my blog that just stupified me. Talk about "not clear on the concept." Read on. All spelling and punctuation are original. Someone named Chris, from Centennial, Colorado, read my piece about "The Best Sunday Dinner Chicken You'll Ever Get Your Hands On," and felt this was an appropriate comment to go public:

“Please Help me if you can, but if nothing else maybe you can refer me to someone who can consult or advise me what to do. I would like to buy a pre-existing chicken farm or income farm/ranch W/contract in Missouri, southern Indiana, southern Illinois or eastern Kentucky and raise chickens (or whatever) under contract (contract is the main thing for the loan) for someone like Purdue or Tyson. [Emphasis mine.] I was curious as where to start the process? Is there a way to get pre approval financing? Or do we have to have an available property on paper first? How and when will I be able to get a letter of intent from the chicken producer? Does this effect the down payment or could it possibly be a no money down deal? The farm has to qualify with the producer, so do I have to qualify with the producer as well? I want to know what to expect and I don't want anyone waisting [sic] there [sic] time if I can't get financed. Can we find out the posiable options? I herd [sic] something about maybe two loans? Chicken houses on one and the house, land, outbuildings ect. on the other? How much does the equity (at the time of purchase) in the land, residence, outbuildings, ect. have on the outcome of the loan? Can that equity be used for a down payment or even a no money down deal? Can closing cost/Down payment be financed? My biggest issue is the down payment. I don't have any money. So I need to be able to finance the down and the only way I know to do that is threw [sic] the seller privately. I doubt the bank will finnance the down. The other way would be to find a property with the 15% equity at the sale table or maybe a rent to own for a year or so. Does mortgage insurance play a role in any of this? How long after Bankruptcy before you can be approved for a loan like this? My credit score was 655 a month ago and should be getting better all the time. The Chicken producer pays the Mortgage payment before paying Me the farmer, or it's called assignment of payments. What does it take? How does this all work? What is the next step in the process? Who should I contact? And 101 other questions I can't remember. If you can't help, do you know who can? I need advice and/or financing and a farm. Thanks in advance, Chris”

“Mr. Fader, you ask a lot of questions for someone from New Jersey.” Let's see...he has no money and no credit, and wants me to tell him how to get someone to give him a ranch/farm so he can raise poisonous chickens for corporations whose policies are environmentally detrimental and whom I deplore.

It's really nice how he read every word of my blog before diving in, huh? (Yes, I sent him packing.) Things like this make me very, very grumpy.

So rather than stay grumpy, how about I “change my channel,” as I tell Logan he needs to do when he gets a little too squawky. Pictured at right are Joe Schirmer's freak tomatoes, seen at the Sunday farmers market. It's up to you to decide if that is a proboscis or a penis. I have no opinions on the subject.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.” — Frank Lloyd Wright

Thanks for visiting.

Comments

[Jennifer]

It takes all kinds... and the blogsphere does seem to attract a little bit of everything!

Now: back to my dangerous typewriter. Grr!

[Ms. Glaze]

Craziness! I can't believe that guy!!! But I do love those freaky tomatoes...