Ch-ch-ch-changes

Pictured here, Betty Van Dyke's beautiful plums.

NOTE: most of this post is not about farms. If you will be near New Hampshire this weekend, you might want to scroll down for a fabulous event taking place there.

Last week, the convergence of several streams of chaos had me rattled pretty badly. So badly, in fact, that on Friday night, I checked myself into the hospital (I hate doctors, I hate hospitals, so this is how desperate it was), certain I was dying of a heart attack. I felt as though I was being electrocuted, and I was prepared for a quadruple bypass. All I could think was, "Boy, if I die, is it ever going to screw with my daughter's financial aid for college."

The good news—great news, as it turns out—is that my blood pressure is just fine. It's even on the low side. "All" that was wrong with me was extreme anxiety, which is easily treatable. They gave me a pill that took the edge off, and the world once again seemed like a safe place. (Well, that's relative, isn't it?)

Last week, I joined the gym, pretty motivated by the sudden and tragic death of a friend, who died of a heart attack at age 53. I've been every day since, and why on earth it took me so long to get over my hesitation is beyond me. All I can say is, I am a different person than I was last week. I am determined to get back into my slender body and my pretty dresses. I am 1000% motivated, and even excited. It's even fun.

All of this, of course, has little to do with farms, except to say that it is my desire to stay alive, to do this work, to help raise Logan, to see my brilliant and beautiful daughter achieve her goals—all of that—that is motivating the change. And the change is the true answer to some fervent prayers that were ascending heavenward at a rapid rate while I was in the hospital on Friday.

Along with losing my own weight, I am trying to help my house lose weight, too. I am giving things away: my trusty old Canon G1 Powershot is going to a teenaged girl I met at the farmers market on Sunday: she wants to be a photographer and an obstetrician.

I came across one of the most wonderful and inspiring posts I've read in a long time, from a writer I already admire hugely: Patricia Digh, of 37 Days (a favorite blog of mine). Please oh please, go and read Purge Your Portfolio. It is worth your time, I promise. The theme is already so tied into the events of this week for me; I bet it's timely for a lot of you, as well.

• • • • • • • • • • •

NEW HAMPSHIRE EVENT: Sunday, August 27.
Outstanding in the Field Farm Dinners & Tours will feature guest chef, Mary Dumont, of the Dunaway Restaurant at Strawbery Banke, Portsmouth. The dinner will take place at the Jewell Towne Vineyards in South Hampton, New Hampshire: they are also the winemakers for the event.

Mary Dumont was one of Food & Wine's 10 Best New Chefs this year: every word I've read about her is awesome. She's even going to be on Iron Chef.

Details are here: cost is $150/person. If there was one single dinner I could attend, this would be it. (Well, now that Justin Severino's dinner is behind us, that is.)

I'll post the menu if they send it to me. I think you should just go. Don't you?

• • • • • • • • • • •

That's really all for right now. I've been buried in work with clients (a good thing) and family-related stuff (some fantastic, and some distasteful, which accounts for the high levels of stress). Oddly enough, even the good stuff lately is stressful: learning to operate a new camera, enjoying professional success, helping Logan get potty-trained (yay!)...

The bad stress will be changing, because I am unwilling to bear the burdens I have had forced on me: I have better things to do with my time. Like visit farms! Tomorrow I'm returning to a farm I gave you a glimpse of a couple of weeks ago, to a woman who is doing amazing things on her land. And soon I'll be visiting Deep Roots Ranch: Jean and Bob have two three-month old rams who are supposed to be darling. And Jim Dunlop out at TLC Ranch has a new dog, Angel, which he acquired to protect the animals. He says she is awesome, and I believe it. (Despite liking certain individual dogs, I am not a "dog person," but my favorite TV show is The Dog Whisperer. I wish someone would clone Cesar Millan.)

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” — Anatole France

Thanks for visiting.  More soon.

Comments

[tomgirl]

I'm so sorry to hear about your recent strife, but excited that you feel newly invigorated and more in charge of your life. I wish you 50 future years of you enjoying your gym membership.

[Cathy]

I'm happy to see you're feeling better, dearie.

I should follow your example and start working out again...it does do wonders for the mind and spirit as well as the flesh!

[Tana]

Thanks, Jenny, Tomgirl, and Cathy. I've been to the gym every day, and I am so excited about everything.